How to Boil a Frog

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Saturday, May 5, 2007

a pond full of Fresca

So the news out of the Southwest is that the Colorado River is going through its eighth year of drought -- the worst it's been in a century. Hmm, seems like we're hearing that "worst in a century" thing a lot lately. But I'm sure it's just a series of remarkable coincidences, including the simultaneous death of about a zillion of my cousins within the last year. Probably the flu or something.

But this water thing has me a little worried, because the thing they don't mention in this article about the water shortage is that this drought isn't really like previous droughts, which eventually went away. First of all, the ancient groundwater under the whole area is being drained at a rate way faster than it's being filled up -- somewhere between 4 and 100 times faster -- mostly for irrigation. Some places it's been drained dry. What happens when the whole thing goes dry?

Dust Bowl. Yup. Time to buy that DVD of "The Grapes of Wrath" and study up on building a house out of a shoebox and 3 dry twigs! Scientists are saying that the current drought isn't just another cycle, it's global warming in progress, and we're heading back to the Big Dry sometime this century. Goodbye Phoenix! So long, Las Vegas! Those growing cities are soaking up huge amounts of the water that's running out, and are soon going to be wrestling every city from Colorado to Mexico for enough of the wet stuff to keep those fountains going in front of the Bellagio.

So what's a frog to do? Wait until his lily pad hits the dirt? Not this little amphibian. I'm packing up my fly collection (C. albiceps is the tastiest genus) and firing up the rickety old family truck. That's right. The Toads are headin' to greener pastures. Arctic Circle here I come, right back where I started from…